Diary of Arun Ramkumarhttp://maltesefalcon.rediffiland.com/Diary of Arun Ramkumaren-usChronicles of a reluctant shopperI recently went shopping to get new
clothes for Diwali.For starters let me tellya that I hate shopping.I

absolutely HATE shopping,especially for clothes.And whenever its

festival time I try and avoid getting asked to "come and pick some new

clothes".Sometimes I successfully manage to avoid it and tell my

dad(who strangely is a shopping junkie) to pick up something while he's

at it. "Dad,make sure its got some blue or black in it.Checked or

striped" ,I'd say while coming up with some alibi as to why I cannot

accompany him.Ah how easy that was.

But its not that always easy trying to escape the drill and sometimes your bluff is called.

And there I was a coupla days back moping around in a clothes store picking up a new shirt for Diwali.

But,these store attendants I tellya ! Everytime I enter a store to shop for some clothes I dread these blokes.

Over the years I have come to realise that they can be broadly classified as follows:


1.The

Hovering Vulture:These blokes have a keen eye for prey and the

mili-second you enter the store they're on you before you know it.They

shadow you like a regular gumshoe and do a 'Sting' by

watching every move you make,every breath you take.They never offer

their help unless you ask but they're constantly hovering around like a

protective museum curator thinking "dont touch this dont touch

that".Take out and put back one garment out of place and they're on

your case.Most of these blokes are obsessive compulsive I am sure, but

I guess order is very important to them and they do have to have a

place for everything and everything in its place.Some closely monitor

you ..for shop lifting I reckon.I've tried turning back and glaring at

them and it works sometimes,causing them to slink away.Another trick I

employ to get rid of them is walk one way and suddenly switch gears and

do a roundabout.This quick and effective tactic will leave them

confused and they will ease up..but only to return shortly after you

move to the next aisle/section.


2.The Eager Beaver: These

blokes,though not as bad as category 1,can be as irritating

though.These are the ones that immediately rush up to you and ask what

you're looking for.Now if your a regular male shopper like me you'd

probably tell them the size you're looking for and the fit/sleeve type

and hope they scram after directing you there and you hope they will

leave you alone after that but NOOO they must accompany you

throughout,dropping various fashion pointers/comments honed over the

years -"Sir, I'm afraid that red doesn't suit you, but you might

however like to try on our orange shirt with black pin stripes.It will

make you look thinner".My software engineer paunch though offended at

the veiled remark decides to forgive him and I say "Naa..I dont like

it".But as honorary members of the fashion police/authority they will

relentlessly give you their fashion fundas. "Sir this Olive green shirt

will go very well with beige colored trousers,which I might add is

right over there in the trousers section.What's your waist size sir?

Arre chintu,tape measure kahaan" and before you can protest they're

already on their beat,measuring your waist size and shouting out the

same to their cronies while you try and suck in your gut lest the

womenfolk in the vicinity know your worst kept secret.Hiding the

evidence you see."No no" I protest."That is because of my thick shirt

you see.You measured around it as I have not tucked it in".

-"But

sir, you do normally tuck in your shirt no?" he'd go and I'd want to go

"heck No" but I relent for fear that he'd come back and ask me to raise

my shirt and cause further embarassment in front of the aforementioned

womenfolk in the vicinity.


3.The snob salesmen: These are

relentless businessmen who use tactics of snobbery.For them the only

plan of action is to shoot their sales pitch in a snobbish way so that
by the time they are done, you would feel quite small settling for

a regular X or Y brand under 600-800 bucks.No sirree.the A1 brands

they would recommend are the burn-a-hole-in-the-wallet types.Minimum

prices would start from 1500 bucks."But look at the quality sir.Just

feel that fine cotton..look at the finish.You'd feel like a King in

these clothes.." Emperor's new clothes anyone?."(expensive)Clothes

maketh the man" is their slogan but little do they know that it can

also breaketh a man's wallet.

Then after consulting with your wallet you meekly ask "do you have anything..err..chea..err..something uh um less expensive"?

And

he'd go "Sir?" with a slightly raised eyebrow in mock contempt.And then

you begin a cat and mouse game and say "I'll look around and decide"

hoping you can elude them and hope that some other poor soul gets

trapped in their web.


4.The aloof attendant: In a strange way I

kinda like these blokes a tad better than the previous ones.I mean they

dont really bother you at all.They're busy arranging something or the

other or dusting about and would never perform any of the antics by the

3 previous types mentioned above .They're just there for the

paycheck.You can almost read their thoughts as you enter — "here comes

another shmuck.Hope he doesnt fuss or fidget about.Besides the eager

beaver would take care of him.Wot me worry?". But alas it will so

happen that when you want to enquire about availability of a different

size/color,all the eager beavers would be engaged with some other

customer and the aloof attendant would be nowhere in sight.They have a

way of slinking away just when they would be really wanted.I think they

have built in radar.If in case they do happen to be in the vicinity

they will nod a "Yes sir,I will check and get back to you" and vanish

into thin air never to reappear.


5.Mistaken identity: In most

stores the attendants would follow a dress code,and sometime or the

other there is bound to be a customer wearing a similar dress and these

unfortunate souls often bear the embarassment of being mistaken for a

store attendant.

me: "Excuse me do you know where I can find XXL full sleeved shirts?"

they:

(face flushing red with embarassment)"Err,dude ! I dont work here

,okay?" and you go away muttering a sheepish apology.I must confess I

have been at the receiving end a coupla times.The best way to avoid

this? Avoid eye contact with other customers.When in shop do as

shoppers do.Look only at the merchandize and periodically check the

softness of the material and go "hmm".


6.And finally the

Friendly attendant who knows exactly what to do and when to do it.These

guys are the cream of the crop.They welcome you with a cheerful

smile.They address you as "Boss".If you've been to the shop before they

remember you and know your groove.They wont hover around

unnecessarily,and the nanosecond they know you are looking for help

they would be there in a flash.In some cases they will take your light

hearted request for a discount and would really give you a "frequent

flyer" discount as they know you've been there before and would

probably keep coming back for more.Unfortunately these blokes are not

easy to come by and I guess they are an endangered species.


Most

of you who've grown up in chennai and shopped here would probably know

the stores I have addressed above and I have politely left out the

names.You can fill in the blanks as you please :) .


PS: Risking

violent repercussions from my lady readers I must confess that all the

above types hold good only for a men's store.For a women's store,my

sympathies are for all the attendants.God save the attendant who gets

caught with a shopaholic woman.I made the grave mistake of agreeing to

accompany my sis and my aunt for one such trip to pick some stuff for

them and hoo boy, that shop attendant never knew what hit him ;)



]]>Wed, 07 Nov 2007 13:08:07 +0530http://maltesefalcon.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/11/07/Chronicles-of-a-reluctant.htmlBohemian WandererDid you go chasing after wild horses?
you Bohemian wanderer,you lone ranger

the land of Giants beckons,with its forces

Are you welcome,you awkward stranger?


Or did you go swimming in turbulent waters?

in search of an island paradise,

seeking the hands of King's daughters

Are you awake now,are you wise?


Did you try flying among eagles?

were you trying to reach for the sun?

with your measured ascent,slow but regal

will you keep soaring,or are you already done?


Has the ego finally landed,will you stay?

have you gotten rid of your blinders?

'cause judgement day isn't far away

and you would'nt want to end up as an organ grinder.



]]>Fri, 19 Oct 2007 14:32:17 +0530http://maltesefalcon.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/10/19/Bohemian.htmlLingua Franca
Have you realized that you think
in a particular language?I know I do.I 'think' in English and when I
talk to myself aloud(yes, I do) its in English too,with various accents
thrown in for good measure.Well that's just me and my various alter
egos at my regular schizophrenic convention but I have always found it
curious if this applies for everyone.
The other day at a family get-together(in my case that would constitute
around 15 members normally) the noise levels suddenly went down
(probably the after effects of a heavy lunch),and I,the normally quiet
one(yes I'm a listener,not much of a talker) thought I should point it
out.Now I speak to my relatives in a mixture of English and Thamizh and
the words that spurted out by me then were "yain dhideernu oru quiet
descend aidthu?" (translation:why has a quiet descended here suddenly)..

and my cousin sister burst out laughing ->"did you really say what I
heard you say?" she asked amidst peals of laughter.Well I looked back
at what I said and realized that it sounded like a propah Englishman
and an Iyengar speaking
together but the catch is they're both the same person,me.Well at that
point the only phrase that ran thru' my mind to describe the lull was
the terms "quiet + descended.." and well honestly I don't think I would
have found any words(if at all) to convey the same thoughts in
thamizh.Anyone wanna take a shot?lemme know..

And if thinking in a language is funny enough for people with all senses in order,I find myself wondering about impaired people.

Like for example someone born deaf and dumb,what thoughts would be
running through his head?I try and imagine symbols,visual metaphors but
i can't fathom how,because the moment I get a train of thought I know
that the words with their syllables pronounced properly(in whatever
langauge) and the syntax are running smoothly on their tracks.

I wonder how blind people who were born blind dream.Do they? If so what
kind of imagery do they see? What is the reference point for them?

Coming back to thinking in a language,what does a linguist think
in?Does it always have to be one's mother tongue?(I recall the
birbal-akbar story where birbal cleverly finds out a visiting
linguist's mother tongue).

What about us?On an average I would reckon that most educated Indians
would know at least 2 languages.Does the language of thought have to be
the one they talk in frequently with other people?Does it have to do
with the kind of books they read or the visual media they watch?I'm
sure its a mixed bunch but which one takes preference or rather,
dominance and why?hmmm.


Parting thoughts: If in the future we do have a
Terminator/Matrix scenario ,with machines (Artificial intelligence)
taking over the planet, what would they think in? binary ? ;)


]]>Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:02:10 +0530http://maltesefalcon.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/09/20/Lingua.htmlBlack and Lighthere I stand, shrouded in silent darkness,
the blind man no more,I think see much better now
doesn't it sound absurd,this ironic prowess?

The burning embers of the past settle softly on the floor
forming a black carpet silhouetting buried memories,
the acrid air around me burns my eyes ever more
I feel a stream of black in my swollen arteries

Now I'm trying to seek tranquility in solitary madness
I'm learning to balance the scales and find equilibrium,
No testaments to assure me that I'll get through unscathed
these superfluous scars I'll heal,with truth as my numbing opium

The solitary flame's flicker has gone out
here I stand, warped in static space and time
but I'll dust off all those clinging fears and doubts
don't need an artificial flame,I'll make my own sunshine.]]>Mon, 09 Jul 2007 16:59:56 +0530http://maltesefalcon.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/07/09/Black-and.htmlRequiem for a Dreamwhy some people are just passing through
those that you long to hold on to, just for a lifetime longer
choose to engulf you in their cloak of warmth, only to bid adieu

You marvel at the magic they've weaved over you
leaving you enthralled and entwined in its magnificent splendor
but only to turn all that golden brilliance to hues of dark blue
leaving the canvas unfinished with no masterpiece rendered

The random forces of destiny conspire to give you temporary wings
leaving you in total awe of its undecipherable patterns
random acts of kindness perhaps, these littlest things
but powerful and intense like an eternal glow from an unquenchable lantern

You then try and learn to admire without desiring, as a wise man said
and so you try and untie those gleaming fetters of possession
but then paranoia strikes to leave you cowering in apprehension and dread
as you are all too aware of the cruel smirks of Time's undulations

Does it ever make you wonder
why some people are just passing through
perhaps they were only meant to make you ponder
what could have been if only marvelous dreams came true]]>Mon, 25 Jun 2007 22:24:53 +0530http://maltesefalcon.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/06/25/Requiem-for-a.htmlAt world's end (pirates 3 - review)I guess we could pose the same question to Mr.Verbinski and his writers.

First they take an obscure theme park ride and make it into a movie.'The Curse of the black pearl' was wonderfully crafted and had us all gushing in awe.
And although 'The Curse of the black pearl' hardly suggested any possibility of a sequel,we soon found ourselves in a tantalising wait for 'Dead man's chest'...and that sequel ended, telling us to wait for 'At World's End'..and it would seem the trilogy is over but there's a suggestion of the quest for the Fountain of youth in a 4th installment.Making it up as they go along?Very much so, I believe.

We loved the swashbuckling, rip-roaring action of 'The Curse of the Black pearl'.I was initially surprised that Depp agreed to be part of such a franchise but then the moment we saw Captain Jack Sparrow we knew why.We all fell in love with him as he mesmerized us with his antics.
What magic he weaved with his kohl lined eyes,his funny stupor,slurry speech and wit.He didn't disappoint in 'Dead man's chest' either.
But sadly all that magic seems to have almost worn off with the third installment,although the theater did erupt when he makes his first appearance,this time in a delightful sequence where he hallucinates and sees himself commanding the Black pearl as captain and.....the entire crew,in a deserted island which is supposed to be Davy Jones locker,where he is paying his debt to Jones.
Meanwhile, on their way to rescue him and bring him back to the world are Elizabeth,Will and Barbossa along with a borrowed crew from Sao Feng(Chow Yun Fat,mindlessly wasted as the pirate captain from Singapore made to play a theatrical and caricature-ish old school 'heavy').
Bill Nighy reprises his role as Davy Jones and we learn that his love is none other than Calypso whom we first saw in part 2 and now with his heart captured by Beckett who, on a ruthless mission to wipe out all pirates, commands Jones and his Flying Dutchman to decimate all pirate ships on the high seas.
The Brethren court with the major pirate lords from all over the world convene to strategize their move against Beckett's forces and in a strange twist of sequences, Elizabeth Swann is made pirate king.This just after she's been made Captain of Sao Feng's crew.Talk about women's empowerment!!!
Will Turner is one confused lad in this lot and keeps swinging sides and is totally off balance.He does get to do his usual "unhand the woman" routine again though.
About ms.Swann,Keira knightley is as ravishing as ever and everything she does onscreen is breathtaking,hell,she just has to be in the frame.You just cant take your eyes off her for one second.

But,the trouble with Pirates 3 is that too many people have too many things to do and the canvas perhaps isn't quite large or strong enough enough to permit that to happen seamlessly.
It appears that they'd shot more and in an effort to curtail the running time the editing seems to have gone for a toss.
And it still does appear drawn out compared to hollywood standards, stretching for about 2 hrs 45 minutes.
There are passages of long drawn out dialogues and then suddenly the scene cuts to someplace where there's frenetic action happening.And this cycle just repeats itself till the end.
One other problem was, I was kept waiting for the piece de resistance....those one or two spectacular sequences which we found and marveled at in the earlier installments but in this one it never quite comes.Well, there is this wonderful scene where an army of crabs help Jack get his beloved Black Pearl back on water but apart from that the film doesn't have any fireworks.
There's one hilarious scene with the Goddess Calypso being freed from her human form and my mind screamed "attack of the 50 foot woman".
And there's probably one of the most hilarious marriage proposals and wedding vows exchanged that we have ever seen in movies.Will finally pops the question to Elizabeth and Barbosa acts as the minister,whilst the 3 of them are battling Davy Jones' minions!!!
And there are a few scenes where Sparrow and Barbosa play a game of one-upmanship to appear the better captain but at times it did appear juvenile to watch.
Ever since I heard Keith Richards was to appear in one of the sequels I wanted to keep an eye out for him and he finally makes his appearance with a bang, literally, as Jack's daddy-o.
Ironically his introduction scene has him demanding that the pirates stick to the rules and even pops out the pirates rule book.Keith Richards, the eternal outlaw and rebel as a stickler for rules?now,thats a scream surely!!! We then see him grab a guitar and he lets his fingers weave some magic only to violently snap a string when someone ridicules the rules again.
Short role though and perhaps they coulda had more of him,but I guess they were already struggling to juggle the subplots involving the lead characters there was no possible way that Richards could have gotten more screen time.
The rest of the film has the the usual suspects....
Gorgeous,breathtaking locales heightened by wonderful cinematography;
The British armada chasing the motley crew of pirates from different quarters...who unite despite their differences;
Barbosa trying to covet the Black Pearl;
Will and Elizabeth as on again off again lovers;
Will trying to free his father Bootstrap Bill from Davy Jones;
Davy Jones still bluesy about his lost love and the others after his heart for control of the seas and the might of the Flying Dutchman;
And the usual witty one liners and double-entendres are there in place but never quite make up for the lackof zest in the rest of the screenplay.
Barbosa is probably the only one still in fine form and I guess we can always expect a master class from Geoffrey Rush.
Sparrow,after carrying off part 1 and 2 with consummate ease and fervor, has probably got lost in the crowd this time around and I expect him to redeem himself in the next installment, if at all there is one.

Verbinski, for once seems to have lost grasp of his main strengths and perhaps tries too much to salvage a sinking ship, one that even Jack Sparrow can't salvage.And fittingly the movie ends with Sparrow in a dingy little boat in pursuit of the Black Pearl which Barbosa has coveted again.
Well if I were to analogize the 3 parts, the 1st was as brilliant and bewitching as the Black Pearl.The 2nd was fantastic and had as much ferocity as the Flying Dutchman.
The 3rd however is just that dingy little boat which pretends to be both the Black Pearl and the Flying Dutchman at the same time but sadly oblivious to the fact that its probably been sailing a fools voyage.A voyage we could have done without.]]>Mon, 11 Jun 2007 23:18:39 +0530http://maltesefalcon.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/06/11/At-world-s-end-pirates-3-.htmlUntil you speakmy heart will wait
along this silent creek
for the flow of words,innate?

until you speak,
I will refrain
from sharing dreams I seek,
dormant,its seeds shall remain

until you speak,
the truth won't brandish
if its mighty or weak,
to feed a soul,famished

until you speak,
hope's dove will stay caged
an olive branch on its beak,
craving for peace to be waged]]>Thu, 31 May 2007 23:03:52 +0530http://maltesefalcon.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/05/31/Until-you.htmlDeja Woo-Hoo / T-WheeIts new trump cards,(well,actually I should say old trump cards) are 3 TV shows that captured the imagination of millions over the world.Well I am talking about The Wonder years,Doogie Howser and The X Files as part of its venture called Old School.
And now I find myself in a time machine and I am loving it :)

Back THEN when STAR TV first made its foray into Indian television screens it was like Moses parting the red sea for the Israelites to cross over to the other side.
For us Indians,especially us Teens and preteens it was the forbidden window that opened to let us see what lay in the West.
Fed on a staple diet of DD for over 10 years this was like a breath of fresh air.
We the people,having known our various sadhams and veggies were now being fed on pizzas and burgers.Well that was a weak attempt at an analogy.
Some of us were already prepared for it and eagerly awaited the change.Anyone that read Archie comics as a kid would agree.That was just a trailer of the things to come.
For the others it must have been a new experience and I am sure they wouldnt have loved it any less.
The 1st year that cable TV arrived it was not for all.Not every household could afford to pay and we were one of those.But I remember our dinky little Onida BnW TV receiving freak signals from our neighbors cable and I still remember watching it with grains galore and no audio.
Soon enough we got our own cable connection and the floodgates of joy opened.

Teenage mutant ninja turtles and Batman in the evening on weekdays.
How I pedalled like crazy from school to reach home on time to catch them.
"Cowabunga!!!" became the new catchphrase and 'dude' started making its way into our parlance.
How we marveled at those 4 green turtles with Ninja weapons battling the evil Shredder and Krang.
Leonardo was my favorite and April O'neil was the crush of every red blooded teenage boy.
Casey Jones was the hard as nuts ,uber cool dude we dreamed of becoming.And what great fun we had quoting the wise words of Splinter,the wise Sensei.

Then followed that cult series Batman.Adam West as Batman became the new super hero that we cheered.Earlier on DD it was Spiderman cartoons but then seeing real life people play a superhero was a whole new experience altogether.I still remember that red batman hotline phone and pined for a long time to have one at home.We had a dull grey instrument.And what a cool and easy theme song to sing along with.
There was another show that came on after Batman and that was the Green Hornet which I shied away from at first.But with time after learning it was a certain Bruce Lee's first foray into acting I added it to my must-watch list.That was one hypnotizing theme music which if I am not wrong was used recently by Tarantino in kill bill.
Sundays we had The Planet of the Apes and Automan.I loved both of them.
Then we had this crazy game show with a bald headed bloke who mystified us with his wares and that was Crystal Maze,a show which has yet to be bettered by any such game show according to me.
But all those were make believe worlds and as much as we loved the element of fantasy and larger than life stories and characters,we yearned for stuff that was more 'human' and 'real'.

And Voila, we got this wonderful series that told the tale of Kevin Arnold,a kid just into his teens and the series took us on the path he walked from a pre teen into adolescence."The Wonder Years" set in the '60 of the USA where it was as he puts it "still safe for a kid to go for a walk in the evening".It was a magical series that transported us to utopia and made us long to be part of Kevin and his gang.And hey dont even get me started on Winnie Cooper.WOW.
Another awesome component of it (though I came to fully appreciate it only many years later) was its brilliant soundtrack.The ensemble of songs were mind blowing and one song that stood out for me was "I only have eyes for you".That kinda played everytime Kevin went into the zone while staring at Winnie and the scene became slow-mo and the lump it caused in our throats are still fresh.

Then there was this show called Doogie Howser MD about a genius whiz kid who becomes the worlds youngest doctor.I kinda never got around to seeing that fully,perhaps because of its telecast time which I think was in conflict with my school timings but well Zee cafe has given me a new chance to catch up with what I missed.

Then I guess the sci-fi craze caught on in a big way and there came this ground breaking new series called the X files - Mulder and Scully.What a team they made.
All of us (guys) fell madly in love with the Gorgeous Gillian Anderson and at the same time aspired to be Mulder - the FBI agent with brilliant brains and a belief in the para-normal as opposed to the skeptic-Scully.
"The truth is out there" and "I believe" became the new catchphrases and do I even need to talk about the haunting title music?That was one hell of a show and it made us go out to our balconies at night to hope for some UFO spottings.
There we were talking about Area 51,route 6,the roswell UFO crash and the men in black, so by the time movies like Independance day,Men in Black and that TV series Roswell came along we were already seasoned afficianadoes on the subject matter.Sadly I never got around to seeing the final couple of seasons due to various reasons but I will always cherish the memories it left behind.

With time STAR Plus became hindi centric and spawned into STAR World and all those shows mentioned above had long run out of time and were past their sell-by date.We moved on to other shows(and to start listing them and talking about them would take many more blogposts).I resented that they never had as many reruns for those shows as some other crappy shows got on air.
But well, zee cafe has finally come good and got us back these 3 shows and a BIG THANKS to you,fellas!!!

Last week I sat down to watch the 1st episode of Wonder years ,the very 1st episode which I had never watched when it began back THEN.
NOW wasnt much different.The lump in my throat was as large (if not larger) as it was back then and there I was with tears of joy welling in my eyes ,which prompted me to SMS my cousin confessing my state to her ,only to find out she was in the same state as well.
But as a strange twist of fate there are now 2 little known TV shows on STAR world called 'Crumbs' and 'How I met your mother'.
Whats the twist of fate?well Crumbs stars Fred Savage..yeah the kid who played Kevin in the wonder years and How I met your mother has Neil Patrick Harris,the kid who played Doogie, as one of its leads.Both are now 30 plus adults,but you still look at them as that lovable little kid from back THEN.
Now that is one weird coincidence or was it just clever programming on the part of Zee cafe?
I have no complaints though.I enjoy watching both and try my best not to miss them.
Now if only they would bring back 'The Fresh prince of bel air' and 'Happy Days' my cup of joy would runneth over :)
]]>Fri, 25 May 2007 18:25:46 +0530http://maltesefalcon.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/05/25/Deja-Woo-Hoo-.htmlRobes of silenceI can see her ring finger's bare
the words from her lips are rare
mystic metaphors lace her parlance

I'm learnin',I'm still learnin'
to find out what her cryptic words mean
my patience is being stretched lean
but the flame of hope it keeps on burnin'

she's got hair of auburn,blazing
she's got eyes as black as coal
when she stares into my empty soul
I feel alive and a new hope is rising

I'm learnin,I'm still learnin'
to read the language of her eyes
she's as unpredictable as a pair of dice
the roulette wheel of time it keeps on turnin'

The lady's wrapped in robes of silence
she refuses to unveil her thoughts
she's left me to connect the dots
and picture what lies beyond her fence]]>Thu, 17 May 2007 14:31:15 +0530http://maltesefalcon.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/05/17/Robes-of.htmlWages of fear (Le Salaire de la peur -movie reviewRemember Nintendo's most popular game console 'super mario brothers'?
The 2 lead game characers-Mario and Luigi,brothers in arms, must travel through various zones,every second step laced with peril, and death looming just around the corner.
Their goal is to cross all the zones and save the Damsel in distress,a princess.
Ever wondered why there's no brave prince that tries to save the princess' life??
Well ...that's the same rhetoric that French director Henri-Georges Clouzot's controversial 1953 masterpiece "Wages of fear (Le Salaire de la peur)" poses to us.
The damsel in distress,and schizophrenically,the gutless prince depicted is USA,or more specifically an exploitative american oil company-SOC(southern oil corp) which has oil wells in South America.
There is a raging fire in the oil wells and a precarious mission is to be undertaken to curb further damages.
SOC is unwilling to risk the lives of Americans and thus decides to seek out non-US candidates who are willing to put their lives on line to earn some dollars.This seemingly negative portrayal of the US led to a lot of snipping before the film released in the states,I read.
By some weird coincidence 2 of the lead characters in the movie are also named Mario and Luigi.
The initial setting:Las Piedras,an isolated South American town where poverty is slowly taking its toll and the unpardoning sun beats down to dehydrate the hopes and dreams of the unfortunate souls trapped in it.As a line in the movie goes: "It's like a prison here. Easy to get in. But no exit. If you stay, you croak".
The townsfolk,apart from the natives consist of a motley crew of desperate,out-of-work men,the four main protagonists being two frenchman:Mario-a cigarette smoking,Bogart-type character whos lookin for any kinda break to help him get out;
Jo -an out of luck bootlegger,who finds himself stranded in the town;
an ex-Nazi,Bimba, who's fled Germany and Luigi-the typical amiable and passionate Italian who shares a room with Mario.
These four form a band of brothers who are chosen by the americans from SOC to set out on the seemingly doomed mission:to transport 2 trucks loaded with containers of Nitro Glycerine, to the oil wells to blow up the pipelines in an effort to curb the fire that is raging in the wells.
The wages on offer: 2000 $ each...but more importantly,freedom from the suffocation of atrophic smalltown life with no salvation in sight.Once the word is out a long queue gathers near the police station.
The American cop in charge of the town warns them of the explosive nature of Nitro when he takes a drop and demonstrates the damage it can cause.It hardly unnerves any of the candidates except for one who walks out.All the others dont mind putting their lives on line.Two grand is too big an amount to pass up.
Eventually the 4 best drivers are chosen for the job.
Jo starts getting finicky about the trucks safety and suddenly has second thoughts but proceeds anyway and when the cop tells him that he is being payed a huge amount for the job he smirks and says "put my life on the line for what,Coca Cola...bah some deal"!!!
Mario is undettered even when the attractive barmaid from the local Salon,who loves him,pleads to him not to go.
Luigi who is suffering from a lung ailment and has few months left to live is desperate to get the money and go back to visit his family back home one last time.
Bimba whos been through the salt mines of the Nazis assures the others that this will be child's play.
Hence begins the perilous journey ,across the sloping mountains with barely-there roads,sharp turns and craters aplenty.
After the trucks have covered some distance, the initially cocky Jo tries to abandon his truckmate Mario,more than once but every time he either comes back after a change of mind or is forced to come back by Mario who chides him for his cowardice and convinces him that the 2 men need each other to see it through safely.
The other truck with Bimba and Luigi takes the lead after a point of time and in an ironic moment,the pair finds the road blocked by a fallen rock and Luigi wonders how to move it;the more enterprising Bimba suggests blowing it up to which Luigi asks "blow it up with what??".
The rest of the movie shows the further obstacles:of geography and of the mind, faced by the 2 trucks and the drivers. Eventually one truck does make it to the destination.
The screenplay is so gripping, not a minute goes by when you arent held spellbound in suspense,unlike in 'Speed' where you know Keanu Reeves was gonna save the passengers on the bus,get the girl and kill the baddie.That is Hollywood for you.But this is a French classic.So you're never quite sure of the events that will unfold.This is what makes it a great film.With repeated viewing you'll marvel how it is still edge-of-the seat stuff despite knowing what is bound to happen.

]]>Fri, 11 May 2007 22:18:13 +0530http://maltesefalcon.rediffiland.com/blogs/2007/05/11/Wages-of-fear-Le-Salaire-de-la-peur-movie.html